This year is my 5th year of becoming a full-time mother and being a freelancer/contractor. The road was not easy. It was very challenging; working at home as a full-time mother and freelancer/contractor while a husband is working overseas. I do my online task when my kids are sleeping or if there is someone who could look after them. I wake up early or sleep late at night. I sometimes forgot to comb my hair for the day.
Being a wife of an overseas husband, a mother of two kids and a freelancer was challenging role to do. Sometimes I wanted to choose between my freelancing career and my kids but my inner self could not give up the two. I got stressed out many times but giving up was not my choice.
Pursuing what you desire is ambitious especially if a husband is working overseas. In the Philippines, according to the 2016 survey, there are 2.2 million overseas around the world, and this left most of the mothers giving up their careers or jobs in the corporate world to fully take care of the kids while husband earns for the family. And I call this as a big sacrifice because women are sometimes bound to no choice but forget their own career and dreams.
Looking back how I kept delivering quality output to my clients and keep an eye to my kids, be with them to make them sleep, take a bath with them, read stories with them and may cry with them sometimes, disappointments, happy moments. My up’s and down’s I was grateful to have reached 5 years working hard as a freelancer and do my best to be a good mother I can be. With my 5 years working as a full-time mother and a freelancer, I am trying to master these 5 Tips to Pursue What you Desire while with Kids!
5 Tips to Pursue What you Desire while with Kids!
1. You do it because you love doing it.
You do it because you love doing it and I call it passion. Passion is our fuel to do things even if we are tired. Taking care of kids are tiring, breastfeeding, making them sleep, preparing their food and etc., budgeting especially when your husband is not around is also stressful; and look! Look at yourself you are still there doing it all over again. And that is what we call passion.
The same thing in your free time, do your passion aside from taking care of the kids. According to my first client and now still my client for 5 years and counting Matthew Lesko – find something special in you and let it grow, because no matter what others do they cannot defeat you. Earn from your passion.
Dissecting my passion to complement my need of becoming a full-time mother was not an easy road. It’s like researching, trial and error. I remember when I was still pregnant, I wanted to have a boutique, my husband gave me P100,000 for the business but I regret it because I failed and closed the business. I thought it was my passion but I was wrong. It didn’t stop me from chasing and understanding what is special in me, that I can still earn even if I am a full-time mother. I also tried, baking but seems my hands are not for it. But, I know that I love writing even if I am not expert of it. I also like customer service works. I love navigating on the internet. I kept chasing the internet and finally find my way as a freelancer.
“You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” —Steve Jobs
I believe desire will give magnitude to your passion. It will help grow what you love to do. My desire to become a good mother and the desire to earn on my own gives magnitude to do my passion.
Then do what your passion in your free time. As full-time mother kids are attached since birth to their mother. It is daring to pursue what you desire at their early age especially when kids are still 0-5 years old. At this age, it is difficult to leave them to anyone yet. Do it slowly, just don’t rush everything has its own pace while kids are still growing. What is important? You started shaping your passion and making it happen during your free time.
When I started my freelancing career, I started with one client then 10 hours per week. Then it goes 20 then it goes 40 and so on..
3. The superpower of a woman.
“God is within her, she will not fall”
I believe women are blessed by the Lord with superpowers! I feel it and I experienced it because there where times that I worked 8-10 hours a day with my kids at sight. I wake up early or sleep at night, but I don’t feel tired. Use your multi-tasking power and you will be amazed what you can do. Women are blessed with emotional power and endurance explore and use it.
Pursuing what you desire won’t be realized without support especially when your husband is overseas. You have three options to get support, from the husband, relatives or paid support (helper).
First is the support of your husband.
You need to be open what you want to do. He would be of help to lighten up your load as a full-time mother. Sometimes we tend to hide what we really want as a woman. Being honest with your partner will help weight up things and priorities. It is very important that you feel the support of your husband in everything you do because it boosts up your superpower:). Your husband should be your bridge to your desire, not someone who could add to your headaches and heartaches or else he would add up to one of the challenges you need to leap for your desires.
Second, the support from your relatives.
Taking care of kids is exhausting if you do it alone. The good thing about my case. I had my sister with me and parents help me lighten my load as a full-time mother in many times as I try to reach my goals as a freelancer.
Third pay for a support.
When I started my freelancing career I have a helper with me in the house so I won’t worry about the household chores or there is somebody who could watch over my kids while I am busy working.
But remember not at all the times you will get the support of what you desire to become. Sometimes you will be left alone in making it happen. At this moment, my spirit is at most high. I am more challenged to pursue it and my multitasking skills are up. What I am trying to say is, when times that supports are unavailable look at it as a challenge; do not look at it as an obstacle that will pull you down forever. Some would say, give up your career for your kids. Some would say give up your kids for your career. Listen to your inner self, what will make you happy. Keep pushing what you wish to happen as long as you think you are not sacrificing your kids; then go ahead find your way to make it happen. The universe and your positive hopes for your desires will be blessed by the Lord, and solutions will pave its way if you keep pushing. Your wisdom will show you the way.
5. Strategize and leverage your workload.
Learn not to own all the responsibilities so that you will have time for your desires. Leverage them to the family members or to your husband. Learn not to worry everything. Just worry those things that will have a big impact in your life if you will not do them. For me, when I am very busy and preoccupied with so many things, I do not worry if the house is dirty neither have not cleaned my toilet or my own desk, as long as my kids are at my watch and I can deliver quality output to my client for a day.
In my case, we do not have a helper but, I have my parents with me helping with household chores, cook food, wash our clothes, wash the dishes. My focus now is just watching my kids and my online task. My husband, moral support and financial support! And oh, he is one of my avid fan in this blog and my editor sometimes 🙂
With my freelancing career, I learn to leverage my task and work in a team. I am now trying to be the brain and have some hands with me to do the task which I have trained them to do and would not sacrifice my goal of delivering quality output. In this way, I can spend much time with my kids and strategize how to flourish my passion. Then at night, I have high energy to work. Sometimes, I ask help for my parents to look after my kids when I have a very important task to finish. Honestly, I don’t trust anybody to watch my kids for long just my parents and my sisters! My kids would be looking for me if they can’t see me in minutes or hours, they cannot sleep without me by my side. I cannot even go out without them.
I also sometimes take things slow when I think my kids need my time especially when they are sick. Then bid more task when I am at my most mood and kids are well. When I take things slow to get more clients, that’s the time I also spend time helping household chores and clean my room..:) play with my kids as well.
I am still trying to master these tips to reach my goals as a mother and a freelancer/contractor for another year of challenge. Remember there is no easy way! Do what you love to do and see no limitations beyond limitations. Shaping your passion and keeping it on track is a challenge and takes years for you to realize, “this is the way that I wanted to grow, this is the passion that I wanted to flourish”.
Hope this will help in finding and making your passion flourish beyond being a busy mother! God bless mothers! You are awesome and powerful!!:)